Thoughts on Watchmen…

So finally caught Watchmen last night, after watching the first trailer from way back I’ve been excited.  First off, yes the opening credits are as great as ppl have been saying.  Some have said choosing Bob Dylan’s “Times They Are A-Changin” is a way too obvious choice for the opening, I don’t give a fuck, it works.  Hell of a lot better than “Hallelujah” during the sex scene.  True, that scene in the graphic novel was meant to be satiric, but I mean c’mon…  Sure seemed like the scene was meant to be taken seriously, if not, well good job on the comedy…  Unfortunately the opening credits were the most creative and refreshing part of the movie.  Otherwise, it was an all too faithful retelling of the graphic novel, save for the ending and some really strange minor edits to certain parts.

First off, what went right.  Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach was fuckin spot-on.  The voice, the look, the intensity, everything was great.  Jeffrey Dean Morgan was pretty damn good too.  Thought he was effective at capturing The Comedian’s brutality and sorrow.  Billy Crudup as Dr. Manhatten took some getting used to.  I initially pictured a voice like Martian Manhunter’s from Justice League, deep, knowledgable, something more awe-inspiring.  But after hearing Crudup for awhile, I really started to like his take.  Higher pitched, kind’ve curious, distracted, lost in a sea of information/observations, good stuff.  Patrick Wilson as Nite Owl II was good as well, not great but very well done.  Good job conveying his insecurities, longing to put his costume back on.  
Lots of scenes were very faithfully recreated.  As a fan, this was good.  Rorschach’s jail scenes were awesome, Dr. Manhate ten’s background was very well done.  I could tell the director was a fan of the source material. 

What didn’t work, the movie was just too faithful to a fault.  This didn’t feel like a flowing story that takes you on a rise, throws buncha shit at you, then brings you back down.  It was like just some re-telling of the graphic novel, which makes for a drab viewing.  And to Zach Snyder’s credit, it’s all you can do really.  There’s just no way to effectively cram the story into 1-sitting and have the same effect as reading the graphic novel.  Different formats, what works on page might not necessarily work on screen as it did here.  Don’t get me wrong, I liked certains things done in the movie alot.  But it’s just single parts in a whole that felt unsatisfying.  The ending, why change it?  I don’t buy framing Dr. Manhatten.  Why would the world rush so quickly to join America against Dr. Manhatten when he’s American?  Wouldn’t foreign nations decimate America then go after the Dr?  I dunno, it just felt weird. 
Zach Snyder is great with visuals, he did a good job with 300 in filling in lotsa fighting in a movie with very little story.  But this isn’t some exercise in visuals, this is fucking Watchmen.  Snyder is no storyteller, there’s no subtlety to his scenes, it’s just all plainly laid out.  Again, I felt like someone was reading to me the comic, rather than watching something unfold before me.  Event A happens, Event B, nope nothing else to see here, on to this next Event, etc… 
Malin Akerman, why?  Why was she cast as Silk Spectre II?  Her performance was much more wooden than my dick after watching some Asian lesbian porno. 
Matthew Goode, anyone could’ve guessed that as Adrian Veidt, you were the villain therefore killing all suspense when you were revealed to be the villain in the climax.  Though I don’t fault you for this, the director probably told you to act all smarmy/semi-evil looking. 
Why was Rorschach’s scene killing the child-killer changed?  The graphic novel’s way was much more subtle/cool.  Same goes for leaving out Rorschach’s quip after he kills Big Figure.  And c’mon Zach, you could include some retarded sex scene (kudos to the boobage though) lasting 10 minutes, but you couldn’t include the pivotal killing of Hollis Mason?  That shit nearly made me misty-eyed in the comic, I would’ve bawled my eyes out if I saw it on screen! 

Overall? It was decent, though at my viewing there were already ppl walking out of the movie when Rorschach/Nite Owl reached antarctica, even more left when Nite Owl was giving Adrian a tongue lashing in the end, and finally some more when Silk Spectre II was comforting Silk Specture I.  I don’t see anyone not having read the graphic novel enjoying this movie.  They probably went in blindly expecting the usual super-hero action fare.  For those who read it, it’s nice to see the graphic novel in motion, but ultimately you’ll probably stick with the source material.