chinese nba commentators…

have got to be the most useless commentators in all of sports.  They pretty much follow the usual old Asian parent that doesn’t know a thing about what they’re watching.  Their repertoire boils down to ”good shot”, “bad shot”, “he’s too good” and “he sucks”.  I mean, hell one commentator even mentioned Shawn Marion is really good in fantasy basketball.  You kidding me?  Man what the fuck am I doing here?  I should move to China and be a sports broadcaster.

congratulations fat ass lady with too much makeup and two kids

You’ve ruined my day.  And fuck you Target for allowing fat ass bitches like her to shop on your premises.  First off, I didn’t see you directly in line, there was no one there, where the fuck were you?  Was there another line that represented the queues for multiple registers?  If so, then mention so.  But don’t fucking come up behind me, whisper under your breath ‘you know there’s other ppl waiting in line, i hate rude people’, then when I turn around to address you, just look down your at your fat ass that could probably produce it’s own gravitational pull and pretend your organizing your shit up in your cart.  Fuck. you. to. hell.  Second off, if I did cut, say so, just let me know, and I’ll gladly move.  But no, b/c your fat and the world hates you, you just had to go and fucking take a big huge bite out of the goodness that was my day.  My day is not a big, fucking, dripping, juicy steakburger for you to consume and devour in order to strengthen the layer of fat around you.  Fuck I need a punching bag.  Or a drink.  Fuck.

Damn you Brandon Roy…

Suck my left nut.  You just had to ruin Yao’s clutch fadeaway + FT with a clutch 3 of your own.  It’s only 5 games into the NBA Season and I already feel like crying my heart out.   But seriously…good game by Aldridge, Rudy Fernandez is for real, and despite a horrible game, Roy proved his clutchiness in OT.  God I need a drink…maybe two…fuck just give me the whole damn bottle.

Rox vs Mavs addendum

That technical on Ron Artest was complete and utter bullshit.  So he runs up and tries to get Yao away from the crowd of Mavs players after Josh Howard gives him a hard foul.  Yeah, nice job ref.

Rox vs. Mavs

1st quarter:

Quick jumpshots, no movement by the Rockets
How the fuck is Erick Dampier muscling Yao out of post position?
T-Mac can’t keep up with J-Ho defensively, his penetration will give our defense fits, god we need Battier back…
TMac sitting out 2nd half of 4th quarter, thank god, he just wasn’t getting it going
Aaron Brooks will hopefully get more playing time, and he and Rafer will split duties 50-50 by All-Star break.
GET SCOLA THE BALL MORE!!! FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!
Nice spin move by Yao on Erick, get that post position Yao!!!
Slow first half of first quarter, game finally starting to pick up, finally some ball movement opening up good looks.  Much as I hate to say it, I’m really liking what I see out of the Mavs.  I wasn’t sold when Carlisle was hired on, not a knock on him as I like him, but I just didn’t see JKidd having much of an impact left.  But there’s more movement (looks like alot of 3-2 sets), JHo is playing with a sense of purpose (prob to shut the naysayers up after the whole maryjane/anthem debacles), JKidd as usual being the catalyst.  Dirk though looks less involved, which pisses me off since he’s on my fantasy team >=O
Disregard Dirk not involved, he’s lighting up our ass.
Down 33-32 after 1.  I should be happy, but I’m not liking the pace of this game.  We’re trying to match their tempo, and as a result our defense can’t transition back in time, giving the Mavs tons of easy fastbreak/transition points.

2nd quarter:

Aaron Brooks!! our saviour!!! 7 unanswered when he comes in?  Move over rafer!!
I’m almost to the point now where I want our offensive priorities to be Yao first, Ron second, TMac third.  Ron definitely looks the most fit/ready out of the 3.
FUCK YEAH YAO!!! AND 1 MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!
Ron is obviously a cyborg sent from the future…just straight bullying the mavs out there…fuckin steal machine…
Yao is getting into a flow…watch out…
Ron I like you…but a quick shot, then another 1 second after yao gets the board and passes to you?  c’mon now…
Chuckwagon at the freethrow line, bring out the lawn chairs!
I like this tempo better, WE’RE pushing it, but our ball movement is generating our tempo, not just quick plays, so higher conversion rate on our end meaning we get time to get back on defense.
Man RonRon just straight doggin Dirk…now Dirk’s got 3 TO’s…fuckin A my fantasy team is finished…
Oh god…JKidd pushing the tempo again…please defense hold it together…
TMac’s just got no lift…2 point blank layups missed…c’mon knee, heal, HEEEAALLLLLL!!!!!
Thats right Yao!! GET THAT WEAK SHIT OUTTA HERE DIOP!!!!
Fuck..Josh Howard and Dirk heating up…and TMac looking like he’s favoring his knee looking like an old man out there…seriously our lead shrinks when TMac is in the game.  He’s not 100%, he needs to sit.

3rd quarter:

Jason Terry on TNT-Inside Trax, reconfirms my theory that Jason Terry is a douchebag
And Josh Howard still hasn’t cooled down…
Alston 1 on 5 fast break, backs out, goes back in and dishes to Scola for layup…my heart can’t take this…
TMac is invisible this game…and someone GET IN FRONT OF JOSH HOWARD!!!
Alston…3 point shot 4 seconds into the shot clock…bad Rafer…BAD!!!!  No soup for you!!!
TMac finally attacking the rack, thank god RonRon allowed TMac to rest in 1st half
TMac limping again…ruh roh…
How is it after all these years, we still can’t figure out how to feed the ball down low to Yao?
Uh oh…Crazy Pills getting shot-happy…good time-out called
Tempo’s slowed down to half court game, much more like it.
What the fuck Alston…you have 8 seconds left, so you go 1 on 3 and go for the teardrop, leaving around 4 seconds left for Dirk to jack up a half-court shot?  Are you fucking forreal?  Jesus Christ…

4th quarter:

Brooks back in!!! Mid range field goal!!! SUCCESS!!!
Mavs turned into a halfcourt slow team…WITH JKidd on the court…advantage rockets
CRAZY PILLS!!!!!  Thats right Josh Howard, back the fuck up!!
GREAT WIN!!! Holy cow what a game, our offense just did a complete fucking 180 from last night.  Our defense lagged a bit, but came up big when it counted.  We probably would’ve lost a game like this last year since TMac would’ve been in the last few minutes when he didn’t have it going on.  Thankfully, Adelman now has Artest to goto, and fuck he just brought it tonight.  2-0 MUHFUCKAS!!!!!!

best how-to ever

This made me lolz to no end.

http://www.timarai.com/blog/2008/10/21/greatest-how-to-everat-least-in-japan/

random shit

Rockets vs Grizz season opener – I was only able to watch the last 6 or so minutes.  Imagine my shock that we were only up by 1 pt!!!  WTF!!! From what I could gather, our defense was doing a great job.  And judging by our offense, we’re going to need our defense to be at the same level and higher if we’re going to survive the upcoming weeks.  Holy hell, all I saw down the stretch was get TMac the ball, and one of 2 things happen :

TMac post up
TMac take horribly contested jumpshot

I mean I know our offense has kinks and still has to be worked out, but I mean is there just not 1 single iota of last season’s offense that survived the offseason to carry on over?  And yeah, TMac looked old and slow, not at all like how he started out last season, damn you knee surgery…  And why in god’s name was Scola not in the last few minutes?  12 pts and 13 reb in 25 min of action, and he couldn’t play a second of the last 5 minutes when we were handing out offensive rebounds to Memphis like Pedobear gives candy to minors?  C’mon now…

Speaking of pedobear, best.costume.EVAR!!!!!!

http://flickr.com/photos/sirberus/2976709620/in/set-72157608401752187/

NBA SEASON IS HERE!!

Make way for Luis Scola, como estan bitches!?

Season opener against the Grizz tomorrow, good god bout fuckin time.

1 DAY!

2 Days!!